Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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