Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I smell like Dick and happiness
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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