I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Randomize
