I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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