I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
