they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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