This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize