ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
