Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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