So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
