Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
