Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
