Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just forgot I was standing up.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
