you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize