the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
