I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I need moral support for this bender
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
