I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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