This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
