Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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