I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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