He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
