I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize