A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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