I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
