Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
