I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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