Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
