i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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