I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
