I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
