so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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