remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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