If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
