If i come over, it means nothing
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
As shirtless as possible
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
