very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
