you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
