Pants 0. Shit 1.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
