I accidentally had phone sex last night
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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