how can u be prego again
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
