So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Randomize
