No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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