Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you would pick up someone in the library
i love accidental penises.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
