i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
