Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
