I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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