Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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