Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
