when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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