dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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