Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
