Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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