bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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