you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't turn off my feet"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
