he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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