I want to stick my p in your. b.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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