Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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