I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
