Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
