do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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