we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
pray to the hookup gods
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
