Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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