After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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