woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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