You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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