Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
