I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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