The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
