he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
