omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
