Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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