I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
