i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
