You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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