no you cant smoke seaweed
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
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